There are many wedding traditions that just don’t make any sense. Some of them are timeless, though, serving both an honorary and practical purpose. The designation of a best man is one of those traditions that’s bound to keep going into the future. If you’ve been named the best man in your friend’s wedding, you might feel a little pressure. What are you expected to do? The duties will be a bit different with every wedding, but there are some basic rules to go by that will leave you prepared for your duties.
Planning the bachelor party
The best man is primarily in charge of planning the bachelor party. It’s your job to talk with the groom to figure out what he wants to do. You’ll then pick a venue, put together the agenda, and begin communications with all the people the groom wants to invite. When planning the bachelor party, your absolute priority must be keeping any and all problems away from the groom. He can’t know about any problems you’re having unless they directly impact him or the trip. As a best man, your key role is to take the pressure off of the groom and handle the dirty logistics.
Guiding the groom through the bachelor party
Your bachelor party duties aren’t finished with the planning. On top of that, you must make sure the groom makes it through the party with his dignity intact. As a best man, you have an obligation to ensure the groom has fun. You also have an obligation toward his marriage and future. It may sound difficult, but the job consists of helping the groom walk that thin line between too much fun and too little. When your friend is about to make a decision that he will regret forever, it’s time for you to step in keep him from making that mistake.
Providing emotional support in the wedding lead-up
It’s normal for a groom to have cold feet or some doubts about getting married. Even if he’s with the perfect woman, he might start to doubt whether he’s making the right decision. Your job as best man is to keep him calm, listen to his concerns, and put him back on track when he gets emotionally off. He’ll trust you with his deepest fears and guilt. Take all of this into consideration, but guide the groom back to a good place if he starts to struggle.
Managing the wedding day stress
Most grooms will want to sit back and enjoy their day. They won’t want to deal with family stress, with problems for other groomsmen, or with the logistics of the wedding venue. If the officiator of the wedding needs something, it’s your job to make sure he has it. Think of yourself as a Sherpa, guiding your friend to a great wedding experience and taking him around all the stressful pitfalls that can defeat his experience.
Making a great toast
It’s wedding tradition for the best man to make a toast to the groom. This might happen at the rehearsal dinner in some weddings or you might end up holding a microphone during the big reception. Write something from the heart that’s not too heavy. Make the crowd laugh, but don’t make jokes at the expense of the bride. Writing the perfect toast is all about authenticity and honoring the couple in whatever way works for your personal relationship with them.
Being a best man can be a great experience. You’ll have a lifelong bond with your friend and have the opportunity to make incredible memories throughout the process. If you’ve been chosen, don’t stress too much about it. Be ready for the obligations so you can serve the needs of the groom as well as possible.Share This!